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The Creepiest Creep to Have Ever Crepe'd ([info]socalledhipster) wrote,
@ 2009-02-28 11:12:00


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Current mood: blah
Current music:Jet Black New Year~Thursday

The Not-So-Sane
I've always found something demeaning about job interviews. In essence, you are just trying to convince someone to let you try to perform a job. A job which typically has nothing to do with the conversation you are having about why you want to work for the company, and your strengths, weaknesses, and little bits of personal odds and ends that are usually always lies anyway. And the interviewer knows that you are most likely lying through your teeth. So what's the point?

Today I was trying to convince someone to let me mop their floors as a second job to cover the furlough costs that plague me two Fridays out of the month. I don't know why I had to talk about myself, my home town, and on and on. I just want to mop some floors for cash, so I can keep myself from being homeless. Hand me a mop, give me fifteen minutes, and that's the interview. At least it should be. I already demonstrated that I can show up on time and dress myself. And I really, really, really want this job. I would actually have fun doing it and I wouldn't have to be around too many people. But I still sat there and talked about how I deal with stress and made bad small talk and told the handful of jokes I knew that I'd feel comfortable telling in front of my grandmother.

It's just so embarrassing to have to talk about how awesome you are and then have to go home and wait for someone to get back to you about whether or not you are awesome, when what I am trying to do is so bloody simple. I wish I could have just rolled up my sleeves and done the job I was applying for for just an hour or so.

Oh well. I think the interview went okay. I just hate the waiting. Every day I don't work is just another day I don't have a pay cheque, another day I continue to exist in limbo, basically homeless, penniless, relegated to a small room in someone else's house and expected to keep very quiet and to clean up other people's messes.

I've been reading a biography of Graham Chapman - I'm really obsessed with him after reading "A Liar's Autobiography", and owing to him being both my favorite member of Monty Python and a gay anarchist hero of mine - and so far (so far? I've read all but the last 10 pages or so, and I think we all already knows how it ends....) it's quite good. There are some bits that were of an uncomfortably personal nature (like the circle jerk bit), and there are yet more bits which should be uncomfortable but are really funny (like the many incidents in which Graham Chapman uses his penis to comical effect in pubs). I liked the passage where John Cleese explains how Graham Chapman just assumed everyone was gay, and was quite possibly on a personal crusade to get everyone to admit it and just relax. (It's on page 82 in the paperback. Check it out.)

I've managed to spill water on my keyboard. So none of the buttons work save the alphanumeric keys and punctuation marks. For the rest - up, down, left, right, tab, control, that sort of thing, I have to use the mouse, and I hate moving my hand a quarter of an inch. I hate not showing off my 1337 keyboard shortcut skillz to impress my dog, whom is the only person I hang out with these days.

Sadly, how mundane I am does not bore me one bit. I like cheese.



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job interviews.
[info]parallel
2009-03-02 11:09 am UTC (link)
all of that background information is necessary. if you've ever worked with anyone before, anywhere, who has been less than pleasant, disruptive, soiled themselves, threatened to beat the shit out of customers/employees, then you'll recognize why they make sure you can reach rational conclusions. simple ex., maybe you pass a normal assessment test with flying colors. a friend of a friend failed his. the test had nothing to do, at all, with stocking shelves. but it had everything to do with the true character of a person and their responses towards social situations, which does tie into the job. you dress appropriately to look like you give a shit and all of those little stories make you stand out and look better than the other five people applying to mop a floor. because it is so simple to mop a floor, a homeless man can get that job. but can he keep it? everyone can mop a floor. and unfortunately they'll waste valuable time and money training you how to do it "properly" even though you may already know how. if in a job interview you're very shut off, introverted, give short responses and conduct the whole thing in monotone, there's extremely high chances that you're not going to get called back. who wants to work with someone like that? don't you wish you could interview your future bosses so y ou don't find they're all slacking piles of shit with no worth, no better than you, or that they actually are BOSSES and do their jobs appropriately? you can't find that out from an interview, sure, but anyone with intelligence can wade through a liar and someone who isn't. one of my friends actually told the truth about past crimes he'd done on an application, filled it out. he charmed the interviewer through and through and you know what her advice to him was? let's shred this, fill another one out, and lie to me. hah!

anyway, good luck w/ the job.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: job interviews.
[info]socalledhipster
2009-03-03 01:25 pm UTC (link)
owo Thank you!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


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